When the Healer Gets Sick by Angie Webster
by Angie Webster from ReikiRays.com
I have had more than my share of sickness in this life. I struggled to get through school, with one illness after another knocking me off my feet. After I graduated, I had problems with my entire digestive tract, from an ulcer to Inflammatory Bowel Disease/Crohn’s. After the birth of my second child, it was discovered that I had very early stage cervical cancer. And around that time I began having seizures ranging in intensity from blaking out to full grand mal, often several times a day. The memory loss and severe headaches that came with them were disabling. Due to the seizures, my thoughts and behavior became erratic.
While my health is far better now than it has been since early childhood, I do still get sick. And I have to admit it is frustrating, even though the problems I face now are minor compared to the things I have faced in the past. I find myself thinking, ‘I am a healer! Why am I getting sick and why can’t I heal myself?!’
When I don’t feel well, like everyone else, I want to feel better—quickly! But I have to keep reminding myself that healing isn’t just about what I can see and feel on the physical level. It is about all the levels of being—physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Adding the extra stress of feeling as if I have done something wrong or that I can’t heal myself correctly increases the disharmony in my energetic field. I know that I will only get well when harmony is restored. So how do I find harmony when I feel so out of balance?
When my health was bad, I learned to handle enormous amounts of pain. One of the ways I learned to deal with it was putting relaxed attention on the pain and seeing it as belonging to God. Like air or water, pain serves a purpose. Like air or water, pain flows in and it will flow out. I tried to focus on being grateful for my body’s ability to feel pain, instead of being lost in the pain itself. This was a constant meditative practice. It was mental training, not a state of success or failure. Through it, I learned to not cling to what was finished serving me. Being sick and in pain became a spiritual practice.
I also learned to ask for help, something I now do when I am sick. I ask a fellow Reiki practitioner for healing energy. I ask my husband to help with meals and take some of my daily tasks. But more importantly than seeking outside help, I help myself by not battling with myself or my body. I rest, give myself Reiki and find things that make me feel cared for. Hot baths, tea, sleep, comfort foods and a good book are all favorite things I do to pamper myself when I am stressed or sick. Healing sound or mantra is also very soothing and it promotes healing.
These days, my goal is not to set out on a personal battle to defeat my body and the illness in it. My goal is to support my body and my entire energetic system. By doing this, I allow my body to heal itself, retuning to its natural state of wellness and ease. I keep bringing myself gently back to a state of calm and restful being. I follow what my body tells me it needs and I listen to my intuition. Most of all, I accept that healing is an ongoing process. And sometimes a little disharmony is a lesson in resting with discomfort.
Angie Webster is a Reiki Master Teacher and author.